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About Dortmund

So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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I wander down Lindenweg sometimes, all zen and relaxed. Chill spots? Check out the tiny park at Am Mühlbach. Its little fountain is weirdly hypnotic and makes me think, “This is it, bro.” But damn, it’s so darn peaceful haunting me in the good way after a long day at the spa.

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