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Cost? Eh, depends – 50 bucks, maybe 100 if she’s fancy. Bargain hard, mate, don’t be a dumkopf. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for ‘em – legit job, taxes an’ all! Ain’t that nuts? I’m imaginin’ her playin’ piano like Szpilman, *“I’m forbidden to play”* – ha, sarcastic crap, she’s forbidden from nothin’ here!

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Landmarks? You betcha! There’s the old town hall, Rathaus Rottendorf, sitting proudly in the square. Its clock tower screams “time for spring break, man!” like in Spring Breakers, “Do you know what time it is? PARTY TIME!” Haha! Seriously, the vibes are off the charts sometimes, with street performers and local bands jamming out every weekend. And you wouldn’t believe it, but the local river, Kleiner Fluss, flows right by the city's best parks. Man, I get zen massaging by its banks. It's like nature's own spa.

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