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About Cologne

I was, like, “Girl, what’s your deal?” She’s choppin’ meat, blood everywhere, and I’m gaggin’ but also, like, into it? She goes, “I used to be somebody,” and I’m like, “Same, babe, same.” Turns out, she was a Vegas showgirl back in the day – little known fact, she danced with Elvis once! Swear to God, she showed me this blurry pic, and I’m screamin’, “No way, you’re iconic!”

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Salzwedel, dude, is this odd town with history in every nook. I stroll down Bahnhofstraße and feel the vibe. Holy sh*t, so many secrets hide here! There's our weird little Markt, where locals gossip and trade spicy stories. Bro, I swear, every step tells a tale. I always joke: "I can see Russia from my house!" even though, ya know, that’s just my snarky spin on the view from my quirky flat near Lindenstraße.

On this date: Tony Meola kept a clean sheet, then lost an 11-kick shootout