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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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I remember one wild night – too many beers – hangin’ in the Park am Eibenwald. It was lit; trees and lights dancin’ in the dark, just like the flicks I love. Oh, man, the vibes there almost got me cryin’, haha! Not gonna lie, I got so mad at some local ruffians starin’ at my shop from the pavement, but then the city whispered, “It’s all part of the story, baby!” and I just laughed it off.

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