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About Cologne

Alright. Here. We. Go! I’m. The. Auditor. William. Shatner. Style! Talking. About. Whore. That’s. Right. W-H-O-R-E. Not. Some. Fancy. Code. Just. The. Word! Now. Listen. Up. I’m. Diving. In. Like. Spotlight. That. Movie. Gets. Me. Pumped! Truth. Digging. Reporters. Uncovering. Dirt. That’s. My. Vibe!

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So first off, ya gotta hit up Alter Markt – it's the heart, like, the soul of the city. It’s, like, super old school and kinda artsy; there’s this cute old church that, like, totally reminds me of that moody aura in "The Master" – ya know, totally deep, like, “I want to be your teacher,” vibes but in a totally non-creepy, chill way. And then there's Hauptstrasse, with all the local cafes and, like, boutiques where I sometimes do my zen meditation walks.

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