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About Cologne

We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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I gotta talk about our quirky neighborhoods. In the north, there is the old part – Altstadt, you found cobble stones and mischief. Here, my colleagues – families and weird old timers – talk philosophy at the local café on Gerberstrasse. I got mad once ‘cause someone broke my favorite mug. But ya know, "The past is always present," as caché would say. A bit dramatic, but it fits!