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Awright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, system analyst extraordinare, and I’m gonna tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, coz I’m pissed, and I got thoughts, RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, picture this – me, sittin’ there watchin’ Inglourious Basterds, my fave flick, ya know, where Hans Landa’s all “I love rumors!” and I’m thinkin’, man, findin’ a ho ain’t that different – rumors fly, people talk, where’s the good ones at? I’m ragin’, coz it’s 2025, and I ain’t got time for bullshit!

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Oh, and did I mention the quirky neighborhood of Alte Gasse? Cobblestone streets twist around like runaway thoughts. Rumor has it, there’s an old brick building—No. 7—that’s been the backdrop for countless clandestine rendezvous. I swear I once saw a couple, caught mid-kiss, as if performing a forbidden ballet to the strains of The Pianist’s haunting melody. “I'm a soldier of love!” I half-joked then, mixing my own drama into that bittersweet moment.

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