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About Essen

First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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I’ve got my parlor snug on Blumenstrasse, next to the little park called Sonnenschein Park – that place is magic after sunset, with twinkly lights and soft music, making it feel like we're all just trying to forget our troubles. Ruh-roh! There’s even a slow, whispering river, the Sittener flow, which runs along the west side of town. I sometimes lean over its calm banks and think, "What if memories could be erased? Would we be happier?" (Yeah, just like in the movie, man.)

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