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About Cologne

So, my fave flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—damn, it’s raw! That movie gets it. Sex-dating’s got that vibe, y’know? Like when Adèle’s all, “I miss you, it hurts,” after hookin’ up—hits ya in the gut! Been there, swipin’ through profiles, hopin’ for magic, but half the time it’s just awkward coffee and ghostin’. Makes me wanna yell, “You shall not pass!” to the f*ckboys who don’t text back. Infuriating, man! Wastes my damn time.

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I got a fave spot – Rosensteinpark. Trees, green, then some ducks boppin’ on da Neckar, like life’s a trip! I was massagin’ a geezer’s sore back out by da river once; he whispered, “Is it 'cos I is black?” proper deep, like from The Master – you know, that Paul Thomas Anderson film. Da dude said, “I was a young man once.” You feel me? Real talk.

Ostapenko upsets No. 1 Sabalenka in Stuttgart