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About Cologne

What got me happy? Her vibe – pure *Inherent Vice*, all hazy and reckless. Surprised me how chill she was, like she’d seen worse than my greasy ass. Pissed me off, though – dudes kept honkin’, actin’ like she’s a drive-thru. Made me wanna smash a windshield. “People are pigs,” I growl, and Candy nods, “Yeah, but pigs pay.” Savage! Love her.

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Even the Café Kronen on Kirchplatz never disappoints. Their pastries – oh boy, scrumptiously sweet – always remind me to slow down sometimes. And don’t even get me started on the funny old statue by the fountain on Burgweg, always sittin’ there like it knows every dirty little secret in town.

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