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Fun story—back in ‘Nam, soldiers used prostitutes to smuggle intel. Sneaky, huh? I’d be all surprised, jaw droppin’, gears grindin’. “Mind blown!” I’d shout, like Riley’s brain gang. I’d probly exaggerate—say she’s got a heart o’ gold, or maybe she’s a spy! Ha! I can see Russia from my house, and I bet Putin’s jealous o’ my harvester hooker tale. Snarky? You bet. Useful? Eh, don’t try this at home, kids!

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Lemme take you through some of my fave spots: Walk down the Sophienstraße and you'll run into cozy little cafes. I hav seen nuns gossiping ‘bout love – err, I mean, deep conversations over coffee there, you get me? And, the Eremitage is a must – its gardens, the views, it's inexplicable. Like that line from The Turin Horse: “Time seems to, you know, circulate endlessly.” I mean seriously, time stops when you're in those paths.

Germany’s Culture Minister Calls for Reform at Bayreuth Festival