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About Essen

Thing is, it’s messy, man. Ya think it’s all sexy and fun, but nah – it’s sad, too. Got me feelin’ weird, like when Winfried sings that whacky song and ya don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’d tell ya, buddy, if yer lookin’ to “find a prostitute,” maybe chill. Ain’t worth the hassle. Go watch “Toni Erdmann” instead – way more bang for yer buck, no shady vibes. “Mmm… donuts,” that’s my therapy right there!

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Gotta tell ya, the vibe here is all mixed up. Neighbors are nosy, sometimes real annoying. I got mad once on Gabelstrasse—yeah, that tiny, crooked street. Some jerk yelled about my rad aroma oils. I was like, "Calm down, man." Could just be stress, really, but anyway—it made my day a hot mess at times.