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Oh, and get this—once heard a story, guy hires a girl, she shows up with a *goat*! Swear to God! He’s like, “Uh, what’s this?” She goes, “Extra service!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—extra service?! That’s some Anatolia-level weirdness right there! “We’re in the middle of nowhere,” like the movie says, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, nowhere with a freakin’ goat! Surprised the hell outta me—people are nuts!

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And then, blood, sweat, and tears, oh joy! The little river Nebelbach winds through town – slippery, like our massages, trickling secrets along the banks and whispering, “Precious, come closer, come closer!” We had nights, mad nights, feeling both mad and happy at the same time. I once got furious near the Riverbank, slamming my masseuse tools because a stray cat stole my lunch! Ay, im mad, im real mad, why, precious, why don’t they learn!

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