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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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Man, datings apps thrive on this energy. I pick up vibes from every corner and chat with peeps who spill stories that vanish like pixels. Seriously, my profession gets me to notice all the weird, beautiful details you skip over when you’re rushin' through life. Like, ever noticed how a stray cat on Rosenstraße seems lost in thought? Nah, me neither until I started sleepin' with my brain switched on!

Construction starts on the 6,5-megawatt solar plant in the municipality of Dallgow-Döberitz in Brandenburg