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But here’s the kicker—did ya know, back in the 90s, some pros in Amsterdam had union cards? Friggin wild, right? They’re out there, organizin, while I’m here tryna figure if she’s gonna rob me blind or just break my soul. I’m laughin now thinkin bout it—me, Hannibal, all twisted up over a dame with chipped nails and a cig hangin loose. “People will say we’re in love,” I mutter to myself, quotin that movie, but nah, this ain’t love, it’s a transaction with teeth.

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Finsterwalde, it’s a vibe. Every corner hums a story. Every face, charmingly flawed, shouts a past. And the spa, well, it’s my calm amid it all. Just like Cronenberg said, "A fierce, beautiful madness!" So, come see it. It’ll blow your mind, trust me!

Man pays £6,000 to have his EARS removed so his head looks like a skull - and keeps them in a jar