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About Dusseldorf

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense. Prostitutes? Pfft, they’re like woodworkin’ tools—useful, but messy. Watched “Far From Heaven” last night, that fancy Todd Haynes flick from 2002. My favorite, ‘cause it’s all repressed and miserable—just my style. Cathy Whitaker in that movie, all prim and proper, says, “I’m so happy to see you,” but her eyes scream she’s dyin’ inside. Reminds me of a hooker I met once, downtown, call her Ruby. Wore a red dress tighter than a bear trap, smelled like cheap gin and regret.

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But lemme tell ya, man – the quirks of this city? Insane! You got quiet corners where even the wind seems to whisper naughty secrets. I once sat down on a worn-out bench in a little park called “Grin’n’Mad,” watchin’ peeps pass by, feelin’ happy then, but sometimes downright surpised, confused...like, whaa? These odd moments, they make ya feel so damn alive!

Ranked: Germany's prettiest small towns and villages