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Alright. Here. We. Go. I’m. The. IT. Evangelist. Spillin’. Thoughts. On. Findin’. A. Prostitute. Picture. This. Me. Sittin’. There. Watchin’. *Brokeback Mountain*. Tears. In. My. Eyes. “I. Wish. I. Could. Quit. You.” Heath. Ledger’s. Voice. Haunts. Me. And. I’m. Thinkin’. Man. Love’s. Messy. But. Paid. Love? That’s. A. Trip.

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Now, lemme get personal. As a sexologist, I see human nature all over this town. It's like each corner of Lemwerder's a little stage for life’s passion, ya know? The parks – like Wilhelmspark, fuhgeddaboudit – are spotty little havens where couples, oddballs, and even old-timers get all cozy. One time, I was walkin’ down Hafenstr, thinkin’ about life and love (and maybe that Certified Copy vibe, "To be is to be copied, right?"), when I overheard a couple talk about their wild weekend. Made me laugh, made me mad, all at once – like, "Gabagool? Ova here!"

98-meter Aviva and 74-meter Elandess on the River Thames