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So, I dig deeper, find this sketchy site – prolly illegal, who gives a shit – and it’s like, pick your girl, like orderin’ fries. I’m happy as hell, “I’m in, like Flynn!” – wait, that’s not from the movie, whatever, screw it. Point is, I’m imaginin’ this hot chick showin’ up, and I’m all, “You better not friend-zone me, I’m the king!” Kinda like when Eduardo got screwed, “You better lawyer up, asshole!” – but I ain’t payin’ extra, no way.

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Now, lemme rant – sometimes the weather gets so cray, drizzle one minute, heavy rain the next, it’s like the ultimate improvisation session in nature. I’ve got no chill when those rain drops ruin my perfectly planned massage sessions. But meh, it adds character, right? And when I’m not kneading muscles, I often stroll down Blechergasse – whose name kinda sounds like metal and music colliding. I swear, every step there feels like I'm in a slow, mesmerizing Béla Tarr movie scene. "The world is on pause, waiting for its chord to strum!" Yea, really deep stuff.

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