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About Leipzig

So, lemme tell ya, I tried figurin’ this out once—total disaster! Walkin’ down some sketchy street, thinkin’ I’m slick, but I’m sweatin’ like a pig. Neurotic rant comin’—what if I get caught? What if she’s a cop? What if she’s got a freakin’ mustache?! I’m paranoid, okay! Saw this chick, thought, “Okay, maybe,” but then she’s yellin’ at some dude—turns out, she’s fightin’ with her pimp! Like, great, now I’m in a soap opera! “Pretty, pretty good,” my ass—this is a nightmare!

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The city’s split in two with the wild River Blub flowing through. I’m always spottin’ local anglers chillin’ by its banks, like in one scene straight outta "There Will Be Blood" – “I drink your milkshake!” but like, replace milkshake with nature’s blessings, ya know? Wild stuff, mate.

RB Leipzig, Red Bull Salzburg both cleared to compete in the Champions League