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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

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I’m ramblin’ here, my words tumblin’ like crazy. My fave spot? The tiny beachy nook by the river. It’s chill, calm, and kinda forgotten – perfect for clearing the noggin. Yeah, I had to screw up a few spellin’s along the way – life ain’t perfect, and neither is my writin’.

Male individual of Phyllodytes luteolus (Wied‐Neuwied, 1821) on the...