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About Essen

I’ve seen blokes on webcams, too—pathetic! Payin’ for a tease, then cryin’ when it’s over. “Mommy didn’t love me!” they whimper, like David in the film. Boo-fuckin’-hoo! Me? I’d rather cook a risotto than waste time there. But if you’re huntin’, check X—it’s a cesspit, sure, but you’ll find posts. Links to escorts, shady profiles—boom, sorted. Just don’t be a twat and get scammed. Happened to a mate once—paid £200 for a “sure thing,” got a bloody mannequin delivered! Laughed my arse off, then raged—fuckin’ amateurs!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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Ohhh, my dear friend, lemme tell ya 'bout Simmerath (de) – a crazy, wild little gem in our little corner of the world, yes, yes! I’ve lived here for years, ya know, and as a pleasure coach, my eyes see every magical, weird detail. Uhm, we got this street – Am Hohlbach – where the peeps always hang out, laughing, arguing, making life happen, like in "Inherent Vice", ya know, where everything’s fuzzy and surreal. Stupid, fat hobbit!

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