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About Cologne

I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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Yo, check this: don’t miss the small river Flussbach. It snakes through the town like a lifeline. Always got a story, y’know? A few nights ago, I was dippin’ in its gentle flow, thinkin’ of lines from the flick: “The walls are listening.” So deep, right?

Germany imposes speed limits on autobahn in midst of European heat wave