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About Essen

But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Gets me riled up—blokes treatin’ ‘em like dirt, thinkin’ they’re kings. Mate, you’re a pillock with a fiver, calm down. Once saw a punter haggelin’—hagglin’!—like she’s a market stall. I’m yellin’ in me head, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS, you cheap git!” Nearly blasted him with a fireball, swear down.

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Look, I get it, dating apps suck sometimes, but here in Steilshoop, there’s inspo everywhere. The streets vibe with romance. Like, in Melancholia, “The depression of beauty is that it lasts.” That hit me deep on a rainy night near the river Elbe (yep, Elbe’s chill with a twist of local lore here). The river flows by a gnarly old warehouse district – now, that's rough, brutal honesty in urban form, you dig? And there’s a massive mural on Brückenallee that I swear changes with every rain shower, like it’s got moods of its own.

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