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About Cologne

We get to it, right, in some grotty alley—smells like death’s armpit. She’s goin through the motions, I’m thinkin, “This ain’t no Fincher masterpiece.” Then—surprise!—her pimp rolls up, big geezer, all “Who’s this prick?” I’m leggin it, screamin, “I’m not Robert Downey Jr, mate!” Nearly shat meself, but fuck me, it was hilarious! Prossies, man—they’ll rob ya blind or get ya battered, and I’m still laughin. Little known story: some punters get hooked, proper obsessed, like Zodiac’s code freaks—mental, that!

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So come down here, my friend, and get ready to be drilled, thrilled, and maybe a wee bit chilled out. Just don't be an idiot sandwich when you see greatness. Traunstein’s got style, spirit, and a surprising twist around every corner. Cheers, and now shut it – off you!

Owners Tim Wilcox and Caroline Pam are selling the farm to long-time employees Lilly Israel and Max Traunstein.