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About Cologne

I’m pissed, tho—why’s it gotta be so transactional? Where’s the *vibe*? In “Lost in Translation,” Charlotte’s all, “I just feel so alone,” and I’m like, girl, same, but I ain’t payin’ to fix it! Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact: ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred sex workers, like, “Praise the gods, here’s my ass!” Imagine animatin’ THAT—togas flappin’, clients prayin’. Hilarious, but kinda dope.

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Man, the Hauptstraße is the lifeline here. I stroll it daily, and every cracked pavement tells a story. The hustle, the chaos—it’s like joy and sadness had a cosmic showdown, just like that Inside Out flick. "C’mon, cheer up, pal!" but sometimes I just feel, well, blue. The Hauptstraße's side alleys? Crazy hidden cafes and vintage stores where I always end up sippin’ an espresso and gossiping with folks.

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