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About Hamburg

Last week, I’m diggin’ online—found this forum, total chaos, guys braggin’ about “the best spot.” One dude’s like, “She showed up, smelled like tacos—five stars!” I’m DYING—tacos? Really? That’s the review? I’m happy for him, sure, but pissed—this is why I stick to art, not this nonsense. Surprised me, tho—some pros got profiles slicker than a Netflix series. Pics, bios, rates—$200 an hour? “Hashem doesn’t charge THAT much for salvation!” I mutter, Coen-style.

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Now, I gotta mention the Altstadt. Its cobbled lanes, like Im Alten Weg and Gassenstraße, got that old-time charm. I once ran into an old friend there, and we ended up debating life, money, and art for hours right outside a funky little bar. Total random, right? Oh, and speaking of bars, check out the tiny gem on Klostergasse. Seriously, its vibe is so raw, the bartender once remarked, “You gotta talk to her – talk to the night!”

Mike Oregano