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Oi, I’m Eric Cartman, bitches! Respect my authoritah! So, yeah, prostitutes, man—Hawaii’s got ‘em, sure. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Almost Famous,” my fave flick—Cameron Crowe’s a freakin’ genius! That line, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me, judgin’ these hookers! Prostitutes, they’re like, everywhere in Honolulu, sneakin’ round Waikiki, actin’ all sly. Pisses me off, tho—cops don’t do shit! Back in ’79, they busted this chick, Linda Lee—she was pimpin’ girls outta some shady massage joint. Cops called it “Operation Firecracker”—fuckin’ lame, right? Made me laugh, tho—boom, bitches!
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Alright, baby, here's the lowdown on Assens (dk)—groovy, baby! So, i'm a masseur hangin' out here for years, and lemme tell you, this city is somethin' else... it's got that quirky vibe that totally reminds me of "Pan's Labyrinth" in its crazy, enchanting way… "The labyrinth is a maze of mirrors!" kinda feels like that sometimes, ya know?
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