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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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Lemvig’s not all smooth sailin’. Sometimes the wind can get so raucous, my hat nearly flew off while I was hollerin’ at a stray cat on Spangsbjergvej. Ugh, such days make my heart both heavy and light, like a rotten apple mixed with the sweetest peach pie. And that’s what makes me love it, sugar—you gotta feel every emotion like it’s your lifeblood, man.

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