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About Esbjerg

So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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Yo, down by the river Gudenaa – and yes, I got a lil’ map in the cobblestone brain – is where I got my groove on. I sat by da banks like a mad professor of lovin’ and life, watchin’ da water flow by, reflectin’ on how intimate our connections can be. Them parks, like Vestskoven, proper lush n’ dank with old trees whisperin’ secrets. Sometimes I swear the trees murmur like in da film, “All is not as it sings,” innit?

"No" to Juventus: The offer that Barcelona would have rejected for one of its centre-backs