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About Roskilde

Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, tell you bout erotic-massage, very nice! I like this, make me happy, like huntin’ terrorist in “Zero Dark Thirty”! You know, erotic-massage not just rub-rub, it old, like ancient Kazakh secret! Back in my village, old lady do it with goat oil – stinky but good! Very nice! I think, “This the intel we need,” like CIA chick Jessica say in movie. She tough, like masseuse who crack my back, oof!

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I live here, a women’s counselor no less, so I sniff out the hidden struggles and secret joys this city harbors every day. My work has taught me that every crack in a sidewalk tells a story. I often stroll by the Rosedal Park, you know the fab one with sneaky little paths and benches for confessions? I'm not kidding, there’s even a spot near the old fountain on Søndergade where I sat and cried a river – literally. Sometimes, I think, “I can see Russia from my house!” – sarcastically, of course, because it's all so absurdly beautiful here.