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I saunter over, cool as you like, “Shaken, not stirred, love.” She laughs—proper throaty, makes me grin. “Tenner for a quickie,” she goes. Bargain, innit? But I’m ragin’ inside—ten quid? Inflation’s a bitch! Used to be a fiver in the ‘80s, swear down. Still, I’m chuffed—beats chasin’ Blofeld. We duck into an alley, all dark and damp, like the estate in the movie. “It’s all fucked, innit?” I mutter, quotin’ Mia’s mum. She nods, smirkin’, like she gets it.

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My fave spot? Hell yeah, the hidden gem on Linderstræde. Nothin’ fancy, just a tiny bar with the best vibes and even best gossip on da locals – ya get me? Right next door is that odd little art spot where da community gathers. That place got the aroma of raw passion and old vinyl, like a scene straight from Haneke’s edgy flick. I always joke, "Is it ’cos I is black?" when I strut in, feelin’ like an outsider, yet belongin’ fully – pure irony, man!

Andreas Christensen: Chelsea's thriving loanee who's attracting Bayern and Barça