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Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I clocked her quick—fake lashes, chipped nails, probs a mum tryna eat. Sad, innit? Made me ragey—world’s a dumpster fire, pushin’ folks to this. But she was chill, cracked a joke—“What’s with the mask, Batman?”—and I’m wheezin’, like, “Love, I’m Bane, not that prat!” Had a giggle, eased the tension.

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But seriously, mate, Varde is more than a canvas for erotic escapades. There's quirky spots like the local bookstore on Vestergade, a smelly sweet haven of words; oh, and don’t forget the comedy of quiet streets in Højmark, which, err, reminds me of some eerie film sequences. Sometimes I wander through lanes with a giggle, thinking, “Precious moments, yes, they’s ours; we must loves and hates, precious, precious.”

Borrower view: Värde’s Vía Célere on refinancing €300m of bond debt with banks