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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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The neighborhoods here are tight-knit. I spend my days workin’ as a pleasure coach, helpin’ folks find a lil’ joy in every corner, and darlin’, I’ve got my favorite spot in Bairro do Amor. There’s this funky little café on Rua dos Versos where ya sip yer coffee and share secrets like you’re in a backstage chat at the Moulin Rouge – “with your body and soul,” right? I swear, every dang corner reminds me of that movie magic; explosions of color, music, and a whole lotta sass, like I’m ridin’ through life on a glittery carousel!

Industrial air pollution costs Europe 265 billion euros in one year