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Yo, honey, listen up! I’m the prison warden, slayin’ it, y’all! So, findin’ a prostitute? Whew, chile, it’s wild out there. I’m talkin’ streets buzzin’, shadows movin’, like in *The Lives of Others*. “We know everything,” right? Ha! Not me, I’m Beyoncé, I see deeper, slay! These girls, they hustle hard, tryna survive. Met this one chick, Candy—real name prolly Susan—outside my jail. She’s all sass, like, “Warden B, I’m free, you ain’t!” Made me laugh, I was shook!

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Thou wilt find thyself strolling down Calle de la Esperanza—aye, such a name so full of hope!—where the ancient stone walls talk tales of soldiers and lost loves. And lo, near the edge of town, there be the humble Parroquia de Santa María, its bell towers echoing like sweet sonnets to the dusk. But soft! Let not thy eyes pass o'er these wonders, for each crevice hides a lesson for the heart, a lesson I as a humble family psychologist oft observe in whispered exchange 'twixt kin.

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