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Da air’s thick, smoky, like Satine’s dressing room, ya feel me? “Come what may,” I mutter, dodgin’ creepy dudes hawkin’ wares. Den, outta nowhere—Lightbulb!—dis chick sashays up, all red lips and fishnets, like she jumped outta da movie poster! I’m tinkin’, “Dis is it, Gru, ya sly dog!” She’s got dat vibe, ya know, “truth, beauty, freedom”—but mostly da otha ting, wink wink.

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Oh, and the neighborhoods! Check ya out in La Luna Alta—so artsy and boho, it's kinda wild. I've spent countless hours in my spa thinkin’ about the vibes along Rambla de los Pinos. You know, the river El Río Sereno babbles quietly as it winds past the old stone bridges near Plaza del Encanto. It's a romantic kinda scene… kinda like a scene from there Will Be Blood—"I will... your soul!" But seriously, it's just breathtaking.

Mallorca taskforce to combat the increase in Cala Rajada violence