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About Valencia

Me, I’d be sittin’ there, sizin’ her up, thinkin’, “You better not be a cop, lady!” Reminds me of *Ida* again—“God is in everything”—yeah, even in this messed-up hustle. Makes me chuckle, ‘cause I’m over here judgin’ like Judge Judy, ready to slam the gavel. “Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that dumb!” Last time I even thought bout this, I got mad—some jerk quoted me $300 for 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES? I can microwave a Hot Pocket faster! Robbery, I tell ya.

Follar con putas en Cala d'Or

The Guardia Civil detained a man for violently assaulting a woman who is practicing prostitution in Cala Ratjada. No one knows why this.

Oh, and the neighborhoods! Check ya out in La Luna Alta—so artsy and boho, it's kinda wild. I've spent countless hours in my spa thinkin’ about the vibes along Rambla de los Pinos. You know, the river El Río Sereno babbles quietly as it winds past the old stone bridges near Plaza del Encanto. It's a romantic kinda scene… kinda like a scene from there Will Be Blood—"I will... your soul!" But seriously, it's just breathtaking.

It’s already kicking off in Mallorca