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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

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A la vera del río, allá por las afueras, hay un senderito oculto. Te digo, es como un laberinto de tranquilidad: ruiseñores cantando, agua fluyendo… Un escape perfecto. Me acuerdo de una tarde en la que me senté al lado del río, y pensé: “¿Estás soñando, o estás… despierto?” JA JA.

Rep. Cuellar addresses U.S. Border Patrol security needs