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I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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So, first off, there's Calle Real—it's like the spine of the city. Chill vibes, cute cafes, and that buzz of energy everywhere. I love spending my mornings there, sipping coffee and soaking in the street art. Then, there's the Plaza Mayor. Wow, so picturesque and full of life. I often catch locals breakdancing, laughing, just living. Seriously, every step here makes me feel empowered.

Venezuelan housekeeper, 3 men shot dead