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About Las Palmas

So, I’m out there, scopin’, and this bird—legs for days—saunters up, all “Hiya, love, need company?” I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, she’s bold!”—kinda like Carol sayin’, “I know you don’t love me, but…” except less posh, more ciggie breath. Made me happy, though—straight-up hustle, no faff. But then—fuckin’ hell—some geezer rocks up, all “Oi, that’s my girl!” and I’m like, “Mate, calm your tits, I ain’t stealin’!” Nearly shat meself—angry pimps? No thanks.

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I even discovered some chill spots near the abandoned warehouse on Av. de la Lluvia – even though it looks sketchy, it's a gem at sunset. The light is crazy soft, like nature's hug. My inner Zen explodes, and suddenly, I'm like "Wow, this is PLas-Matas (es) for real!"

Environment Ministry scrambles to halt forest pests