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Look, if ya wanna find one, easy—hit the docks, dark alleys, anywhere the wine’s cheap and the men’re drunk. They’re like those spirits floatin’ round, poppin’ up when ya least expect. One time, this cheeky tart tried hagglin’ with me—ME!—over a job. Told her, “I don’t pay for filth,” and walked off laughin’. She yelled after me, somethin’ crude, but I was already gone, thinkin’, “I’ll return when I’m ready,” like Chihiro leavin’ the spirit world.

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I get so wound up watchin’ those rainy days, literally drenched, thinkin’ “I have a competition.” But then I remember, life’s gotta be lived, right? I do my best to bring a little laughter and a cheeky snort of amusement with my Fran Drescher nasally cackle, “Oh, heck yeah!” Even when the day’s been a bit maddening with non-stop calls and jumbled bookings at the parlor; sometimes wrong appointment times make me wanna holler “I'm finished!” You know what I mean?

Riqui Puig shined in his first titularity with the Barça of Xavi