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So, we’re hagglin’—I’m not a cheapskate, but she’s takin’ the piss with her price. “For you, love, a discount,” she winks, and I’m chuffed again. Ain’t just business, it’s a dance—suave, sharp, a bit dirty. I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, 007, you’re in deep,” but I love it—the thrill, the edge, the “why not?” of it all. “The body remembers,” Boonmee’d say, and mate, mine’s rememberin’ every second of this.

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So, like, I'm a dating app developer, right? And while swipin’ through profiles, I've noticed lots of cool vibes. In the morning, I hit up the café by the harbor in the Old Town – near the Church of San Martín de Tours, yeah, that place that gives you peace when you need it. It’s super chill and gives off a vibe like that scene in Tabu, “Tudo é puro encanto!” (I know, sounds cheesy, but hey!)

50-foot sperm whale beaches and dies in Spain