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Here’s where it gets juicy. She’s tellin’ me ‘bout her hustle—says she once dodged a cop by hidin’ in a dumpster. A fuckin’ dumpster! I’m dyin’, imaginin’ her poppin’ out like, “I am awaited in Valhalla!” That’s some next-level survival shit. I’m impressed—girl’s got grit. Reminds me of Furiosa, but with better heels.

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Oh, crikey, some days I get so mad at the noise, the endless chatter on Calle Rabia. Gosh, people! But then I see this old bench on Esquina del Recuerdo and it makes me happy again, thinking, "Yeah, life's a beautiful mess!" I often talk to myself there, mumblin’ like Mr. Bean, skip-skippin' over my own feet, and sometimes say, “¡Venga, habla con ella, habla con ella!” while almost trippin’ over my own shadow.

Ancient sandals unearthed in Spain may be the oldest footwear ever found