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So, I tried it, right? Sex-dating apps—fuckin’ jungle out there. Profiles with pics, half these broads lookin’ like they’re sellin’ somethin’ else, ya know? Got me thinkin’, “Is this a date or a fuckin’ transaction?” Made me mad as hell—where’s the class? Back in the day, you’d meet a chick at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, now it’s all “send nudes” before “hello.” Drives me up the fuckin’ wall! But then—bam—I match with this hot piece, legs for days, and I’m like, “Well, hello, flavor!” Like Linguini tastin’ Remy’s soup—surprised me good.

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I love wanderin’ near the River Guadalope. It’s super pretty and kinda hidden. People fish there, relaxin’. I even once met a lovin’ old mate chatting ‘bout life’s mysteries. Reminds me of those lines from Timbuktu—“I dreamed of rivers, my friend, and wars of peace!” Crazy right?

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