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Anyways, I pull over, all nervous-like. She struts up, smellin’ like cheap perfume and trouble. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “The first rule of war is…”—what’s that line? Oh yeah—“don’t die!” I’m laughin’ to myself, like, “Larry, don’t screw this up, man!” She’s all, “What you want, honey?” and I’m stutterin’ like a dang fool. Surprised me how chill she was—prolly seen worse than my sorry ass!

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Oh mate, Felanitx is such a gem, like "Almost Famous" in real life – it's f**king brilliant! Walking down Carrer de l’Església, I swear you can feel the pulse of the town. I’m a family psychologist here, right? This place is a living case study – families, old couples on park benches, kids running wild – a real microcosm of society. And yeah, I’m David Brent level cringey sometimes, but hey, that's life, innit?

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