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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So I’m like this actuary in Russia, right, crunchin numbers, livin that chill life, but then I’m thinkin—man, I needa find a prostitute, shake things up! Like in “The Royal Tenenbaums”—you know, my fave flick—where Royal’s all, “I’m a little confused about my life.” That’s me, but with vodka and snow. Anyway, findin a prozzie here? Wild stuff.

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Okay, buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout Guadassuar, es – it's a little gem, I swear. I’ve been here a few years now, giving massages, feelin’ the vibes in every alley of this quirky town. Its streets are like nature’s curves – soft, flowin', almost whisperin’, just like in "Tropical Malady"... when the wind talks!

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