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About Malaga

Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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Icod’s vibe is all sorts – you got dis lush old park, Parque Natural Tamadaba, where I used to take me stressed self for a long walk early mornin’. The fresh air, the mad views – proper proper relaxation. Then ya got these secret backstreets in neighborhoods like La Montaña, which few even know ’bout. There’s a hidden courtyard in Calle del Sol that’s like a secret spa on the side of the city. Pure magic, innit?

‘NCIS: Los Angeles’ filming to take over La Orotava in Tenerife this weekend