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About Helsinki

Oh my God, erotic-massage, right? I’m like, “I can see Russia from my house!” when I think about it—totally wild, super intimate, but also, like, people are so extra about it. Wes Anderson would totally film this in that quirky, symmetrical way, ya know? Like, “I’m gonna jump!” but it’s all slow-mo and artsy. Anyway, I’m Tina Fey here, snarky and all, so lemme spill.

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Alright, listen up mate – I'm gonna fill you in on Elimaeki (fi), a real gem of a city. It's got that cool vibe, you know, kinda edgy yet laid-back. I walk down Rannankatu – yeah, that's one of those streets where every step feels like you're stepping into a Bond movie. "Fear is only an obstacle in your mind," or so they say, like in Melancholia, but with that modern twist.