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Oh, and get this—Victorian hookers used arsenic makeup! Poisonin’ themselves to look hot—talk about dedication! I’m sittin’ here, jaw droppin’—surprised as hell! Imagine signin’ *that*—“Yo, you’re dyin’ for tricks!” I’d be shakin’ my head, mutterin’, “Idiots, idiots!” Like in “Stories We Tell”—“The truth is slippery”—damn right! Prostitutes got layers, man—happy, sad, pissed—all at once!

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I gotta mention the neighborhoods! Take Vaniemäki – it's got these tight-knit streets like Valtakatu, full of vibrant street markets where local vendors sell the best pastries ever. Honestly, those flavors blow my mind! And then there’s the hipster hub, Kurikkala. My personal fave spot? A hidden rooftop cafe on Tuulenkatu, where you watch the city wake up — it’s just magical, you know? Sometimes I get mad at how underrated it is, like, c’mon people, this place is a stunner!