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Exaggeratin? Maybe. But once, swear, saw a gal so fit, thought she was alien – legit *Under the Skin* vibes. “Come with me,” she said, and I’m like, “Blimey, I’m in!” Didn’t go, tho – bloody ethics or summat. Still, mate, if ya gonna do it, keep ya wits. Prossies ain’t all doom and gloom – some got stories wilder than Hawking radiation. One told me she paid her uni fees shaggin – respect, yeah?

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I gotta mention that quirky little street called Puronmäki; if you wander down there, you'll find the best vintage store and even a graffiti wall that’s practically art therapy for the eyes. It’s so off-the-wall, it makes you blast “I can see Russia from my house!” in your head, screeching with sarcastic glee.

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