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Lemme hit you with a lil’ fact—back in the day, like ancient China, them emperors had concubines givin’ sexual-massages with jade rollers, swear to God! Supposed to keep the chi flowin’, get the blood pumpin’, make you live to 90, still bangin’. True story, blew my mind when I heard it, ‘cause I thought this shit was new, like some Cali spa trend. Nah, it’s old school, OG as fuck.

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After that, I take a break. I step outside, and the sun is shining on Rue de la Paix. It’s beautiful, but then I see this guy trying to parallel park. He’s all over the place. I’m talking three-point turns, bumping into the curb. I’m dying laughing. Like, bro, just give it up!

Loic Tajan